random thoughts in grief
-I’m afraid to try again, yet desperate to try again
-I’m afraid to be sick again like I was in the first trimester
-I’m afraid I will never get very attached to the next baby if I’m pregnant, to protect myself
-I’m afraid to go out of the house, because it reminds of how proud I was to “look pregnant”
-I hate my body right now. It’s flatness, the engorged breasts that leak for no one. The void where her kicks and movements once were.
-I want to make a garden this spring, and call it Avalon’s garden, with a fountain, trellises, etc.
-This is the ring I really want: (white gold, blue topaz stone, size 5, “Avalon” on the top side, “12/13/12” on the bottom.)
Categories: baby loss