the horror of the grocery store

Grocery shopping results in tears. Every other person has a baby, or a little girl. The baby section is always there, threatening to attack and overwhelm me with diapers, little dresses, and onesies. Luckily, the alcoholic beverages are located just across the aisle.

I resort to a childish temper-tantrum in my head, it sounds something like this: It’s not fair it’s not fair it’s NOT FAIR IT’S NOT FAIR!!!!!!!

I want my baby back. I want all of this to go away, the horror of existing, the hours that drag on and on and on. Time is cruel. The past has taken my daughter too far away already, the future is a black cloud I can’t bear to imagine.

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Categories: baby loss

3 Comments »

  1. I’ve been known to start hysterically crying in the cheese isle for no apparent reason, and I’ve had a lot of shopping trips done in sunglasses. Wishing you strength.

  2. Oh, Edith. I know how you feel. I hate venturing out anywhere there might be children. I even had to avoid my SIL and niece and nephew around the holidays. I couldn’t be around a toddler and infant so soon after.

    • It was hard to see my niece, who is 18 months. The only baby who doesn’t upset me is my former foster son, maybe because he was “my son” for a while, so it’s different. Otherwise, seeing babies on commercials even makes me flinch.

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