stuck in my head

I’m not remotely religious or Christian… but nevertheless, this song is stuck in my head and I find it very comforting. “God” can also be seen as the eternal bliss of just ‘being’ (think Eckhardt-Tolle), but I so wish I had the comfort that Christians do, and could believe my baby was being held by ancestors or Jesus, and sung to by angels.

I do know, though, that as I carried my baby for five months, I will carry her for the rest of my life. It may take me a while, however, to find the sort of gratitude that this writer has. I don’t want to carry her in this way… I want to carry her in my arms, alive.

“I will carry you, while your heart beats here
On beyond the empty cradle, through the coming years
I will carry you all my life
I will praise the one who’s chosen me to carry you.”
-Selah

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Categories: baby loss

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