Walking with You, week 4
One area so many mothers struggle with is guilt, especially those who experience the loss of a baby/child. We want to address this struggle in this post. It will help mothers quietly battling guilt for living life and experiencing joy to know they are not alone. Other moms silently battle this as well. Whether it is the startling first time you really laugh after losing your child, or whether you have experienced the healing balm of joy for years, share your thoughts on this week’s post.
My guilt probably goes deeper than I know. Everyone tells me that it’s needless, and unfounded. If that’s true, why does it run so deep? Every mother has a bone-deep instinct, written into her DNA, to protect her child. There is no way to battle this, no way to overcome it. I think I can only learn to live with it, and speak soothing words to it, and not punish myself more for feeling it. The feeling of it is punishment enough. I know if I had another child, one who survived, I would feel this guilt in new, very fresh ways. That is a whole ‘nother struggle. At this point, I don’t think I’m experiencing much “joy” at all, so feeling guilt over that has not yet been an issue for me.
Categories: baby loss