I’m not usually so mean
I don’t really wish ill on anyone, especially not on other moms-to-be. I wouldn’t wish this pain on my worst enemy, I really truly wouldn’t. However, when I saw a very pregnant mom yesterday in the hospital hallway, waddling around dreamily with her hand on her belly, I desperately wanted her to wander right off a cliff. Or go up in a puff of smoke. I wanted to scream at her, push her, make her hurt. It’s an awful, awful feeling. I know that it’s not HER I want to hurt, it’s life, it’s fate, it’s the experience. I’m so angry. I want to hurt something. I want everyone and everything to be as miserable as me. I want to make someone PAY. I want justice. I want the death penalty. I want to mount heads on spikes and line the roads with them. I’m so desperately, tortuously, full of rage.
Categories: baby loss