practical matters

Besides having my heart broken today, AGAIN (the daily carnage must be as familiar as it is terrible), I also did some useful things with my time. I am now a Chase Sapphire Preferred member because yo yo yo, ALL of my bills and anything I buy are going to be going toward airline miles. I’m going to save major on my next trip.

I also re-did my budget, switched car insurance and phone/tv companies to save myself over $220 in monthly expenses. I downloaded “How to travel the world on $50 a day”, which led me to the best credit card for airline miles rewards (upon further research), the best flight booking sites, and inspired me to budget better on top of that. I also plan to work at least 1 over-time day a week, which is a lot of extra money in the bank. But where am I going to store this money? I need to find a high-yield savings account to sign up for. All of this is to pay for Avalon’s garden this spring, then for another trip.

Last night I had a sob-fest. It’s been a while, and while it felt so very awful, it also felt good. I fell asleep clutching her blankie outfit, trying to focus on the present moment, my pillow damp with tears and snot.

I wish every second I could go back to the peace and strength that my baby had given me. Now I have to do it without her, and I am so, so far from where I used to be.


Categories: baby loss

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