Oh my goodness
Someone on a free sperm donor facebook group just asked, “do I have to be on my period to get pregnant?” I’m not making fun of her, at all, I just got very sad thinking about a woman (hopefully she’s not a young girl!) having so little reproductive education in a modern world with access to facebook.
Speaking of TTC-ing, I have debated whether or not to post anything about it if and when I try and/or get pregnant. Logically, I know that blogging about it won’t make anything bad happen, but I have a weird OCD-like fear of jinxing it now.
Did Avalon die because I blogged about getting a BFP the day I got it? Obviously not. And I probably will end up blogging about it… I mean, how can I not mention the living hell that is the first trimester? Ok, every pregnancy is different, but when people tell me that all I think is, oh god next time I’ll stay sick even after the 2nd trimester starts… if I’m even lucky enough to make it that far…
I have never been more miserably physically sick or depressed as I was weeks 7 through 11 of my pregnancy. I kept wondering if I’d made a mistake, if I would be able to bond with my baby, and I repeatedly reassured myself that never, ever again would I put myself through pregnancy. Once was enough.
And here I am. Doing the unthinkable, after the unthinkable happened to me.
Categories: baby loss