ever the optimist…
…I bought Always pads along with my OPK (ovulation predictor kit) sticks.
Also experienced some very angry feelings as I was buying OPKs. I kept thinking… I shouldn’t have to do this, ever again. I should’ve NEVER EVER had to buy this shit again.
I had a therapist appointment today, and it was especially helpful as a way to get me more emotional. I’ve been working almost every day, 12 hours, to make money for the garden and the gravestone, and haven’t had a whole lot of time for emotions. After therapy it suddenly hits me like a ton of bricks. I am SAD. I am really, truly, deeply, horribly sad. I get through my day on auto-pilot a lot of the time, and somehow even manage to pretend like I’m not sad. But it’s a lie. Just under the surface lies a deep dark well of sadness. I’m just trying to tread water and stay afloat.
Categories: baby loss