working too much

My loved ones and my friends have all expressed concern. “You need to stop working so much!” they say. I tell them I need the money. And it’s true, I do need the money. But mostly, I need to build a memorial garden, and set up a gravestone, because I need to do something for my daughter.

I didn’t get to do what I was supposed to do for her: give her a life here on Earth, as my daughter, and take care of her. I only get to do things in her memory, to create places where people know that she existed, and was alive, and that she was loved and special, and always will be.

I’m working overtime nearly every day this month for her. Because it’s the only thing I can do, and dammit, I’m going to do it.

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Categories: baby loss

2 Comments »

  1. I think it’s incredibly important for you to create this memorial garden and set up her gravestone. I know that having a place to go to visit a lost loved one has helped me in my grief. Also it made it more special to be able to see her name and feel like I had created something that embodied her soul and spirit. I am looking forward to seeing pictures of your garden if that is something you choose to share with those of us that follow your blog. Thank you for being so brave and telling your story.

  2. I completely understand. I’m self employed so there is not a sick leave, disability, grief days or maternity leave. I had to go back a week after my c-sec and loss to simply save my business. I’ve been fighting to save it this whole year. I don’t think friends/family really understand how baby loss seems to have a domino effect… reaching into literally every area of life. Including finances. Good for you for finding something with such meaning to do for your daughter. Having something tangible is so important. Cant wait to see it.. xx

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