never that word

Reading through other baby loss blogs… and I came across someone who phrased having a stillborn as “giving birth to a corpse”. The word makes my blood run cold and my heart beat faster. It’s a ghastly, appalling description of what is, actually, so ghastly and appalling. I just never thought about using that word before. It conjures up images of zombies emerging grey and bloody from the grave with worms crawling out of their eyes. I just want to keep saying, “my daughter was not a corpse” but of course, by the time she was born, she was dead. Still, I just can’t reconcile that word with her, my beautiful little girl with the heart-shaped face and delicate hands. I just can’t wrap my mind around “giving birth to a corpse”.

The only thing worse than hearing it is that I know it’s true, and I live with the reality of it every single second of every single day.

 

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Categories: baby loss

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