the problem with anxiety…
… is that it’s yours to fix. No one else can make your anxiety go away. You can’t say “if so-and-so would just do this, or that, I’d be ok,” because you can’t control anyone, no matter how much you want to, so this kind of thinking is setting you up for failure. I know that when I’m anxious and panicky, it’s me that needs to change it. I can change my state, by exercising, sleeping, socializing, self-care, etc. I can avoid triggers, such as caffeine, behaviors, social media, etc. I can journal, or read, or watch inspirational material that helps get me back in control of my own state of mind.
It’s not easier. It’s easier to just stay stuck in your thought patterns. It’s really easy to feed the thoughts that keep me swirling down a whirlpool of anxiety. It’s very natural to just keep pushing at someone else to ‘fix’ it, and allow emotions to control my actions. It’s much, much more difficult to force myself to disassociate a little bit. But I do it because I know that I’m like an alcoholic at a bar, except in my case, I’m an anxious co-dependent in a triggering situation. I need to get up, and leave the bar.
So Jo Jo and I took a walk, the weather was lovely, the sun was on my skin, and I was able to burn some energy and get some vitamin D. We enjoyed the lake and the landscaping of all the summer cottages. I’m struggling to change my state and not participate in my own anxiety. I haven’t had a bout of this for over a year, so I’m somewhat out of practice.
The one thing I don’t want to practice, however, is living in an anxious state. So I will keep on keepin’ on. I don’t need a therapist to do it, now. I can do it on my own. I just have to do it. I have to make my own well-being my priority.