details, details, details… the tribulations of being a DPOA

I have a lengthy questionnaire about assets to complete on behalf of my grandmother. I really hate financial stuff. I find it mind-numbing and a most detestable chore, scouring through someone’s bills and records and policies. Once someone gets to be in their mid-eighties, there’s like enough to keep you busy for a year! I usually have to have my mom entertain M or keep her at my house while I go through things with my grandma, as M demands constant surveillance and attention in a house crammed to the gills with “important” papers, knick-knacks, and odds and ends.

Then there’s the caregivers to manage. Someone is sick, someone comes to work but doesn’t do anything due to an injury, someone gives their hours to someone else who didn’t want them… etc. I have to go over the hours for the week and make sure no one was paid too much (they would definitely tell me if they weren’t paid enough!). Today I filed a complaint with APS about the former caregiver who was exploiting my grandma and stealing. The police investigation was ongoing but now APS will at least have something filed. There’s nothing they can actually do, but they are going to check-in with my grandma and me from time to time, and keep pressure on the police to take care of the investigation in a timely manner.

Doesn’t this all sound like fun??? I may be going through this a few decades before most people my age, but from all of my reading, it comes for most of us in the end. Someone has to take over for you if you live long enough to get a bit senile or need services, and unless there’s a document stating otherwise, it’s going to be the kids. (Or grandkids.) Just another check mark in the ‘pro’ list for having at least two kids. You just never know who the responsible one is going to be!

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Categories: elder care

2 Comments »

  1. This does not sound fun. Considering my mom and our relationship, it sounds down right terrifying. I have an older brother I disowned ten years ago and he only comes around family when there is something in it for him. I don’t plan to move back to Michigan, I want to stay in Portland… My mom and aunt split responsibilities for their mom and it is definitely not fun.

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