is my daughter Mexican… or Cambodian???

This is what is seriously aggravating about not knowing who her biological father is. Where does she get her mocha-colored skin, her almond shaped eyes? I’ve been asked so many times, “Is your daughter Filipino/Chinese/Pacific Islander/Hawaiian/Korean etc?” and I feel like, as her mom, I should be able to give her that information!

I saw many photos of Hermanito’s father and seriously thought he was Mexican based on the fact that M looks so much like she could be his kid. I assumed all these guys she hung out with were Mexican, based solely on the fact that her bio dad’s gang nickname was Spanish. I could be totally wrong.

I guess we’ll do one of those DNA swab kits and see if it points us in one direction or another. This is probably the thing I am most annoyed with Cindy about. A name, first or last, a family member, a place of birth… something.

P.S. I don’t want to hear a thing about how it “shouldn’t matter”. If current events haven’t made it obvious, we are not a color-blind society and we all build our identities off of our racial features to a certain extent, some more than others.

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Categories: adoption

14 Comments »

  1. It does matter! And it will matter to M when she is older. Not know her origins could be very hard on her. I think the swab test is a good idea and was going to suggest it. I actually learned about it from an adoption mom blog.

  2. I completely agree with you–I would want to know, and I imagine M will eventually be curious as well. I have the same question as Lindsay–and now I wonder how much M and her brother look alike.

  3. I did 23andme for my daughter and me. It was kind of fun and good to know for sure her ethnic background. My theory is the more info the better for our kiddos. It DOES matter. It’s who she is. And the other thing is maybe some day we’ll find a connection to a family member although doubtful since hers was international adoption.

  4. My adopted son has blond hair and blue eyes and HE wants to know his ancestry. We’re going to do 23andme eventually. I want to honor his desires. But in a way, it’ll be a bit funny. He’ll know more about his ancestry than my two bio kids. I’ve been horrible at paying attention and remembering where all the branches of my family is from when my parents talk about it. I pretty much taught my bio kids that they’re “mutts”. LOL Still, it’s important to my son, so we’re going to find out for him.

    (He’s convinced he’s part Viking and can’t wait to claim that officially.)

  5. The almond eyes could still be from her Mexican descent! I have seen pictures of Mexicans with indigenous ancestors with almond shaped eyes!

  6. I’ve been researching: 23andme and ancestrydna seem to be the 2 most popular choices. I’d like to know why people decided to go with one or the other. We want to do it for the whole family 🙂 which do you think you will use?

    • It seems there are three large contenders: 23andme, AncestryDNA, and Family Tree DNA. All of them cost about $99 for the test that will give you ethnicity percentages and link you to cousins or family members. The one on NationalGeographic.com is twice as much money ($200) but gives information all the way back to your neanderthal roots, and allows you to be part of genomic research if that’s your thing.

      We are going with Family Tree, mostly because they do the cheek swab rather than the saliva connection, and because they had the best reviews in general from those that I read.

  7. My bio dad passed away a couple years ago, so I did a DNA kit to see what my ancestry is. ancestry.com does it for about $100, and to me the price was worth it. My dad didn’t know much of his heritage and what he did know he wasn’t willing to share. I found out I’m 10% European Jewish, which I had never known, along with a few other things.

    I’d say it’s worth knowing, just so you can share your knowledge with your daughter!

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