it’s always something
There’s been behavioral issues at school with M, especially in the afternoons. The nun is no longer there in the afternoons, and the regular teacher is showing signs of getting fed up with M. She says that M is disruptive and disturbing to the other children, jumping on things, throwing things, destroying other children’s things, flushing things down the toilet, etc. They want her to nap, which she has stopped doing. Now she fights them, and it gets her riled up, just like she used to do with me. The teacher says the other children don’t like her. So, that’s great. Really great. Just what a mother wants to hear.
I sometimes see this behavior outside of school, so I know what they’re talking about. Just today, at her new primary doctor’s office, she was acting completely insane. Whining, screaming, throwing things, hitting me, pulling on him, and just being wild and disruptive and completely unbearable. He told me her behavior is more than a typical two-year-old, it’s “extreme”. Which it was, at the office, and sometimes is at home (like when she has her raging tantrums). I look around the office and see other children sitting quietly, or playing in one place, quietly, and think… good god, why are those children able to do that and mine isn’t? I know I shouldn’t compare, but it’s difficult not to do. My child acts miserable, just miserable, and I want her to be content and at peace, if not all the time, then a lot of the time.
Even with the Montessori school, the new doctor, and the therapist, I still don’t feel like anyone is “on M’s side”, except for me. No one is able to say, “yes this is hard, but we’ll figure it out, and she’ll be ok”. The teacher just seems stressed and bothered, the doctor seemed overwhelmed with the behavior, and the therapist helps me to brainstorm ideas, but we haven’t exactly done anything huge there. She’s only seen M once, and that visit was so horrible I wonder if she ever wants the child in her office again!
So we are going to get lab work done, to look for deficiencies, check the thyroid, all of that. I’ve been emailing the teacher to try to come up with ideas for what to do in the classroom, but to be honest I’m almost ready to take her out either every other day or half day. I just can’t stand the thought of her being somewhere where no one wants to be around her. Am I just setting her up to fail by sending her every day?
With all that being said, there are many days when I feel like she’s as well behaved as anyone else her age, and we don’t have issues. Then there are days like today. There are days when behavior at school is fine and it’s horrible at home, and days when she’s being terrible at school but did great at home. I watch other kids in classes, or at stores, or offices, and wonder how they are able to be so calm and well-behaved when my kid isn’t. It definitely makes me feel like I’m doing something wrong, or at the very least, like I’m the only parent out there feeling this way.
Where are all the other parents of high needs children??