getting my act together
Ok, I’m convinced. I need to get a housekeeper. Since my main source of stress is cleaning, I’m just gonna have to bite the bullet and throw some money at the problem (as I’m doing with M’s childcare). Just having clean floors when I come home would make a world of difference to me. Having a clean bathroom would be like… whoa. Luxury. So $50 a week to give me some peace seems ok, I guess. (My inner tightwad vs. my clean-freak nature, they do battle regularly.) I will also need help with weeding throughout the summer, and definitely need some help or time to prepare the garden beds.
Here’s the stuff I actually want to do instead: do puzzles with M, paint on her easel, put my raised beds together and garden with her, go to the YMCA and leave her in child watch and exercise, cook, and play piano. I’d like to wake up in the morning and, rather than flee the house mess, make a pot of coffee, play with M, and feel relaxed. At the end of the day I’d like to be able to cook food and only have to clean up after what I cooked. After a day of work I’d love there to be just some sweeping and picking up to do.
I’m at work for the long haul, but have a good assignment, have a house full of healthy food (and specific instructions for my mom) for M to eat, and I’m feeling just fine. If M is asleep when I get home (please, please) then I can do some quick picking up and sweeping (15 min tops) and meal prep (30 min tops) and still be in bed by 10.
And no, I’m not going to seek out professional help because 1) I don’t want to pay for it, 2) I know what I have to do, and 3) it will make my problems worse because it’s more time M has to be with someone else and less time for me to get things done.