In other news…

In non-future life plan news, life at home is still stressful. In spite of my pronouncement that I’m done managing my grandma’s care, being that she’s in the hospital I’ve had to be involved. This isn’t as stressful as at home (hospitals are my bag, I’m like a fish in water there), but my grandma does things like call me freaking out and panicking and not making sense. So after working 12 hours in my hospital, I drive to her hospital and try to figure out what’s going on. Now the nursing staff thinks she’s a total PIA (she kind of is) but I got the supervisors and patient advocates and all that stuff involved and now, true squeaky wheel style, we’re getting VIP care.

She’s in horrible pain and psychological turmoil, and today told the docs not to do anymore tests and just control her pain and get her the eff out of the hospital. I finally got to meet with the doctor and, per her wishes, she got a better pain management plan and she’s leaving for rehab soon.

I told her if she didn’t do well at rehab I’d do everything I could to get her home on hospice. Maybe I will be able to, maybe not, but it comforted her a lot to hear it. Our caregivers and my mom stay with her most of the time, thankfully. I come every day I don’t work while M is in preschool, and back again with M for a short time. M is always worried about her Gigi and likes coming and doing nice things for her.

My dad is also in town so we’ll be having some family time there, too. And finally the sun is shining and it’s somewhat warm out, so we need to get our seedlings planted if we’re going to have a garden.

I’m so tired, emotionally and physically and mentally. The only thing that keeps me going is M, of course, and the thought that we’ll one day really be living again, somewhere other than here.

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