on the other hand…
On the parenting front, I’m struggling. I’m struggling almost as much as when she was two-and-a-half and I sought professional help. M’s behavior is horrid, just horrid. She demands and whines for treats and toys constantly. Overnight she has turned into a child you would think embodies the term “spoiled rotten”. Today I was asked twice by acquaintances (not my own friends or family) “Why don’t you beat her?” And several time I’ve been asked, “is she always like this?” I hardly know what to say… No, she’s not always like this. Usually my heart is bursting with pride when I take her anywhere, especially when we travel. I’m so used to bragging about how great she always is that this is such a shock to me.
I should be reassuring her, filling her cup, connecting with her more… But I’m becoming so disgusted with the constant demanding, the uncooperative stubbornness, and the frequent kicking and running away from me and even biting… It’s hard to even want to connect! It’s totally not helping that I’m having so much trouble liking my own kid right now. I never thought it was possible to feel so disconnected from her. Every little thing is a fight. When I do try to show her affection, she says she doesn’t want me and purposely turns away. A week ago she was a mama’s girl and told me she loved me twenty times a day. I’d fall asleep next to her completely enchanted with my little girl and our deep bond. The past week her behavior has changed so drastically, and my frustration has mounted so much, that I don’t even know how to repair this right now. I’m tired and hurt and embarrassed and disappointed. I’m worried, too, hoping this is just a temporary blip and somehow we will be ok again. I want to have a wonderful time like we have on all of our adventures, especially in this amazing place I love so much. I hate that I’m inconvenienced over timing while my daughter is obviously struggling.
Someone give me some advice… How can I reconnect with her and bring back my happy, easy child? How can I fill her cup without completely emptying my own? How do I get over the humiliation of having a child who is having tantrums and inappropriate behavior in public, sometimes even hurting others?
Advice welcome but I don’t want criticism for bringing her here. We’ve been on countless trips, including overseas, with no issues whatsoever so it’s not just the traveling.