it’s the red socks
They are cursed.
When I wear red socks to work I have awful days. I only wear them at Christmas so maybe it’s Christmas that is just awful. Today is overtime and for sure my last time working on this unit before California, and it could not be worse. Bad docs, bad patients, bad family members.
Yesterday was misery for me. I basically just wanted to stay in bed all day and cry. But we had a play date arranged with a co-worker from work and her daughter, and we went. I’m so glad I did! We ended up going for a walk (in the dark, but it gets dark at like 5) and then going sledding. M loved sledding, she was into it, head first and fast as a rocket down the hill, no fear. My friend treated us to gluten-free pizza, too, and surprisingly it was good. I so needed to get out of my own head and be around normal, nice, easy people. It was sort of a surprise Christmas gift, as I’ve never hung out with this co-worker before and in fact we’ve only had one conversation ever. It was like the universe took pity on me and my pathetic-ness for one afternoon, reminding me that things can and will be ok. I will meet nice people, I will make friends, I won’t always be alone in the world. In fact, I’m not always alone in the world.
If I could just get out of this hellhole I call work I could get home and situate Christmas for my 3-year-old, who, despite my not talking about Santa, is super duper excited that Santa and the reindeer are coming with presents. I’m going to live through her and soak in her joy.