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sixth day in SF

Coming up on the one week mark and getting ready to actually start working. My brain cannot even comprehend how it’s going to go. I’ve worked at the same place since a year before nursing school ended, that’s 10 years. I’ve never been a nurse anywhere else. I brought along a few things I absolutely “need” (needle drivers, pen light, coban) and they use the same charting system at the new hospital, a major plus. But still. Will I hate it? Will I be given shitty/crap assignments every single time? Will the other nurses despise travelers? Will the manager be friendly? Will I just want to go home every single day? Will I regret ever doing this? Ugh. Pre-first day jitters are the worst. I just have to keep reminding myself that I’ve been an ICU nurse for almost 8 years at one of the largest and best hospital systems in the world. I’ve worked with world-class physicians and their fellows, residents, and interns. My patients and families almost always like me and want me back. I don’t have to get involved in any drama. It’s only for 13 weeks. Think of the money! Eye on the prize… that first paycheck on 1/20 for about $3600! I can rock this out. I can do it.

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“one always begins to forgive a place as soon as it’s left behind”

Quote by Charles Dickens. I read this today and it is so right on. I was getting so frustrated with Michigan, the long drives to everywhere, the lack of scenery, the awful weather, the same-o same-o. Now I’m not there I of course can begin to miss and appreciate the good things that were there. The familiarity and ease that comes with it. I love the scenery here, every twist and turn reveals a new vista. There’s always something new to feast my eyes on. I love that and feel alive. But the price I pay is anxiety… just a low level buzzing that sometimes peaks. I feel it at home, too, sometimes but it’s a bit more pronounced in a new place. My daughter keeps me grounded, the adventures keep me going. My mom is very anxious and not enjoying herself at all, which makes me anxious. I want everyone to be ok. I empathically feed off of the anxiety of others, and I feel responsible for everyone’s happiness right now, not just my own. I think I will feel a million times better this time next week when I have begun my job and it’s not all a mystery. I hope it’s an ok place and I’m not miserable. I hope the rain clears up and we aren’t stuck inside for another week. It makes it hard to feel cheery and hopeful when it’s still so gloomy. I […]

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Feeling the burn

Not the Bernie burn. The financial burn. I got paid from my last job, a bit less since it wasn’t from a whole pay period, but I did overtime so it was ok. But I won’t get paid until 1/20 for the new job. In the meantime, I had to pay one month’s rent at the apartment ($3100), all of the travel expenses, M’s preschool and swimming, etc. Here’s how the trip worked out: $362.80 for all hotels (6 nights) for an average of $60.47 per night. My awesome travel credit card gave me a travel credit of $192.18 which means the total was actually: $170.62 which is $28.44 per night! Gas: $199.72, google estimated $180 for the trip so this was right on, since google didn’t account for side trip to Sedona or other short excursions. Play: $15 for indoor play areas total (thanks to my science center membership which gets us into so many places for free). Sight-seeing: $268- Sedona parking, grand canyon entrance fee, Pink Jeep tour Gift shop purchase: $27.75 (needed gloves for me and M, and beer for NYE) Food: $331.01, $85 more than I estimated. One grocery trip, three restaurants, one pizza order. Travel credit from credit card: $53.87 Grand total: $948.23 My travel money from the agency will be $500, my sign-on bonus $500, and my license reimbursement $149. So I come out on top with $201.77 to spare! Yay me! Now I […]

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big day in the city

I’m exhausted. Today we were up bright and early to get M to her new school. It seems like it will be a good fit, and it’s about 15 minutes away by car. I don’t mind driving in the city, but gosh, things that seem close miles-wise can take some time to get to! She did great on her first day, and even let me leave half-way through. They brought her out to the car at pick-up (our first experience in a “line”) and said she did great. She told me she had fun, most importantly. I know she misses her old school and her dear friends and teachers there, but she will be super excited to see them in April! I’m just relieved that we found something affordable that fit her needs. They had tons of spaces with lots of types of activities, indoor and out. It’s not Montessori, but it will do just fine. After school, my friend Saba and her parents and kids came to check out our place. They were pretty impressed! Then we all headed out to Pier 39, because Saba’s dad is in the USA for the first time and hasn’t seen anything yet. The kids had tons of fun chasing pigeons, riding the carousel on the pier, spotting sea lions, and dancing to the busker music. I am so happy that I have so many great places to explore and friends to do […]

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hello from the other side!

Well, we are here! After 9 states (counting our home state), 6 hotels, one stay with a relative, three time zones, and some amazing side trips (old plaza in Albuquerque, Grand Canyon, hiking in Sedona, the Mojave Desert, Highway 1 and Big Sur), we are happily settling into our San Francisco life. We arrived yesterday where it was pouring rain and gloomy as hell, but our spirits lifted when we got into the apartment and found it to be lovely and old-fashioned, with crown molding and beautiful french doors separating the rooms. No open floor plan (I hate those)! The kitchen is so large compared to what I’m used to at home, with a full table and four chairs. The living room is able to be closed off completely, so my mother is able to fold out a bed in there and have her own room. The bathroom has a separate room with the bath, and one with the toilet. The bathtub is a clawfoot tub, lovely for baths! We have a private patio which is enclosed with a locked gate, so M can go outside worry-free. She has her own playroom, too. We also have wifi, a full cable line up, and of course I don’t have to worry about any of the utilities because it’s all included! The rental company is awesome. I had an issue with the TV (half the screen isn’t working) and they sent someone […]

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goodbye 2016

Well I rang in the new year at the Grand Canyon, on an epic road trip across the US with my daughter, my mom, and my cat… so you know 2017 is gearing up to be an interesting one! As for 2016, well, it was a year of goodbyes, a year of endings. Thankfully I cannot see the future, for it was the year I’ve been dreading almost my entire life. I lost the rocks in my life, my grandparents, and along with them my childhood officially ended. I said goodbye to one of my soul mates, my grandma. Then I left my home and my job of 9 years to chase a dream. I went to Nepal on my own with a 3-year-old, as well as to Niagara Falls, Tennessee, and San Francisco. I had heart-changing adventures. I found and lost love in one breath. I held death in my arms. I cried more than I have since 2012, when I lost my baby. I lost faith in the goodness of my countrymen when the US voted in a bigoted, self-centered fascist. 2016 was one for the record books, for it was a year that changed me essentially, and also quite possibly changed the world forever. So here’s this little survey borrowed once again from By the Brooke: 1. What did you do in 2016 that you’d never done before? Solo globe-crossing by airplane with a preschooler, Nepal as […]

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Christmas frustration

Holy cow. I’ve been up since 7 am with kiddo, and Christmas morning was a great hit for her, of course. But after seven hours of playing with toys and bathing and watching Christmas movies, she is bouncing off the freaking WALLS and making me regret giving her candy in her stocking (just chocolate, no dye, but it seems to be affecting her just as much). I made gluten-free lasagna and muffins, and sorted our food for the trip. We had a great morning, the three of us, but I’m very lonely as the day goes on. Paying the bills was a big downer, and trying to clean the house is sort of just hamster-on-a-wheel, as whatever I do gets undone a few minutes later. I’m so tired after a horrendous day yesterday at work. So tired, so overwhelmed, so sad. About to get into my car and drive two hours to see an old friend just to go somewhere.

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